IELTS Academic Writing Practice Test 12

Write your own response before opening this example. This is a sample from the book, not a score or assessment of your writing.

The diagram illustrates the eight stages involved in turning wool from sheep into yarn that is ready to be knitted or woven.

Overall, the process begins with the collection and preparation of the raw wool, continues with a series of machine stages that turn the fibres into yarn, and ends with winding and distribution. Two by-products are also obtained along the way.

First, the sheep are sheared once a year, in late spring. The fleece is then sorted by hand and graded according to the length and quality of its fibres, and any low-grade wool is removed and used to make insulation. Next, the wool is washed in hot water and soap. This removes dirt and grease, and the grease, which is known as lanolin, is collected for use in cosmetics. After being dried with warm air, the clean wool is ready for processing.

In the fifth stage, carding, rollers with fine wire teeth separate and blend the fibres, and the resulting web is divided into soft strands. These strands are drawn out and twisted into yarn during spinning. The yarn may then be dyed in large tanks, although this step is optional, and undyed yarn goes straight on to the final stage. Finally, it is wound onto cones or into balls and sent either to knitting and weaving factories or to shops.

Commentary

• TA: The overview identifies the three broad phases of the process (preparation, machine processing, winding and distribution) and mentions the two by-products. All eight stages are covered in the correct order, with relevant details selected (once a year, by hand, optional dyeing) and no opinions or invented information.
• CC: The response follows the sequence clearly, using a range of sequencers ("First", "then", "Next", "After being dried", "In the fifth stage", "Finally") without overusing any one of them. The two body paragraphs divide the process logically, at the point where the wool is clean and ready for the machines.
• LR: Accurate topic vocabulary taken from the diagram but used flexibly ("fleece", "graded", "by-products", "fibres", "processing"), with paraphrase where possible ("ready to be knitted or woven", "obtained along the way").
• GRA: Passive forms, which are essential for describing a process, are used accurately and varied with active forms ("machines... comb the fibres"). There is also a participle clause ("After being dried with warm air"), a non-defining relative clause ("which is known as lanolin") and a concession ("although this step is optional").

Write your own response before opening this example. This is a sample from the book, not a score or assessment of your writing.

As people live longer and birth rates fall, many governments have decided that people must wait longer before they can claim a state pension. This is an unpopular policy, and it certainly has drawbacks. However, I believe that, provided it is introduced fairly, its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.

The main argument for a later pension age is financial. State pensions are usually paid for by the taxes of people who are currently working. When the number of retired people grows faster than the number of workers, this system comes under severe pressure. Raising the pension age reduces the number of years for which each person receives a pension, and encourages experienced people to stay in the workforce for longer. Without such a change, governments would have to raise taxes sharply or reduce pensions, which would harm younger and older people alike.

There are also benefits for many individuals. People who enjoy their work, or who would otherwise be lonely, may welcome the chance to remain active. Many people in their sixties are now healthier than their grandparents were at the same age, and they have valuable skills to pass on to younger colleagues.

Nevertheless, the policy has serious disadvantages. Not everyone is able to work longer. A builder or a nurse whose job involves heavy physical work may have to stop working in their early sixties, but if the pension age is sixty-seven, they will face several years with no wage and no state pension. Moreover, people in poorer areas tend to have shorter and less healthy lives than the national average, so for them, a higher pension age may mean fewer years of retirement in reasonable health. There is also a risk that older workers will remain in jobs that would otherwise be filled by younger people.

In conclusion, I believe that raising the pension age is necessary and, on balance, beneficial. However, governments must protect those in physically demanding jobs, for example by allowing them to claim part of their pension earlier, so that the burden does not fall on the people least able to carry it.

Commentary

• TR: The question is answered directly: the writer states in the introduction that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, with a condition, and repeats this in the conclusion. Both sides are developed with clear reasons and examples (the cost of pensions, healthier older people; the income gap for people in physical jobs who must stop work before they can claim, differences in life expectancy). The essay distinguishes the age at which people stop working from the age at which they can claim a pension.. The condition introduced at the start is explained at the end.
• CC: Each paragraph has a clear central idea, and the essay moves logically from the main advantage to secondary advantages and then to the disadvantages. Linking is varied and natural ("The main argument for", "There are also", "Nevertheless", "For these groups").
• LR: Precise, topic-specific vocabulary ("state pension", "birth rates", "the workforce", "physically demanding jobs", "life expectancy" expressed as "shorter and less healthy lives"), with good collocation ("comes under severe pressure", "raise taxes sharply").
• GRA: A wide range of complex structures, used accurately: conditional forms ("Without such a change, governments would have to..."), relative clauses ("whose job involves heavy physical work"), "provided" as a condition, and comparisons ("healthier than their grandparents were").